Unrequited
by Ildreen Love
Summary: It wasn't... like he had wanted it in the first place. It had just happened. Like the river that never stops flowing, his feelings had been changing inevitably, constantly, towards him. Chapter 3 up.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: If I owned Gravitation I wouldn't have to buy the manga... and my pocket would be thankful for it.**

--Read and enjoy--

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Unrequited.

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It wasn't... like he had wanted it in the first place. It had just happened. Like the river that never stops flowing, his feelings had been changing inevitably, constantly, towards _him_.

At first he thought it was merely attraction of his personality, always optimistic, always smiling, always ready to do something more... something different. After a while he begun thinking it was because they were always together, and that it was only natural for him to feel the way he did.

But then... there was a point where he couldn't lie to himself anymore. Maybe he could still fool the others, but not himself. At some point he had reached and crossed that invisible line that divides close friendship and brotherly love with true love.

He passed through denial, through rejection and finally to acceptation. And it was harder and harder each time. Because from calling every other afternoon to talk and wanting to go out to have fun, he began calling almost every other day, wanting to go out just to be close, if only for a little while.

_He_ welcomed him without any suspicion, because that was the kind of person he was. His open mind personality had always been one of the mayor reasons everyone was drawn to him, and like a fly to the honey he had been attracted as well.

There were times when he secretly and desperately desired _he_ would notice, that he would reject him or fight with him. But _he_ liked him and was utterly happy to have him as his friend. Other times he stared at him in the middle of the day, just wishing _he _could become his, and only his to love and care for an eternity.

Every now and then, they left town, and he waited until everyone was asleep to sat at the edge of his bed, observing him.

The way he smiled, even in his dreams. The way he hugged his pillow. The way his lips opened slightly, always so inviting, so tempting, and so desirable. The way he mumbled in his sleep, and sighed slightly when he caressed his face.

The way his naked chest moved as he breathed and, as he moved in his sleep, revealed itself almost mocking him, daring him to try, daring him to caress it, to kiss it, to taste him until there was nothing left of him. Those nights were a blissful torture, his biggest fantasy and his biggest nightmare.

Until finally, one of those nights, he had dared to touch him.

In ghostly caresses that didn't wake him up but made him shiver slightly in his sleep. Climbing the bed so slowly, reaching his face and almost tasting the flavor of his lips, almost crying in desperate need, divided between the fear of rejection and the desire to pleasure him in so many unthinkable ways that _he_ could not, _would not_, resist him. To see the pleasure reflected in those beautiful eyes and hear him scream his name until the whole place woke up of from the panting noises from the bedroom.

After a moment, realizing what he was just about to do, he made a mad dash outside the bedroom, not caring about the noise, trying to run away from him, hating himself for what he had almost done.

_He_ caught him in the hallway.

"Hey, what's going on? Are you ok?"

The worry in his eyes made it all worst. He wanted him so badly, but knew there wasn't a chance for it to happen...

"I- I just had a nightmare, that's it."

Shaking his head slightly, biting his lower lip and praying _he_ wouldn't notice the tears that were already beginning to roll down his face, Suguru freed himself from his friend's grasp and kept walking down the corridor.

He heard the conversation going behind his back, but didn't dare to turn around.

"Hiro? What was that all about?"

He knew _he_ was staring t him, he could feel his dark chocolate eyes, those eyes he adored so much, looking at him with an interrogative expression.

"... He just had a nightmare Shu, go back to sleep."

"Oh... ok."

And after a moment, the sound of two doors closing reached his eyes and he sighed.

No, he had never asked for it. He hadn't wanted to fall for him at all.

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A/N: More angst. Poor Suguru, he's the victim this time. And with Hiro! I like that pairing a lot, more than Ayaka/Hiro I must confess... but don't we all?

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it. I'll try something more cheerful next time.


	2. Dare

**Disclaimer: I own an old teddy bear since I was five and that's all..  
**  
This was supposed to be an one-shot. Then it was supposed to be updated on friday. Apparently I can't stop myself when it comes to the big G as my brother calls it. Anyway, **thanks to**:  
-tammy-love, wendyghost, Guren, Yuki N Shuichi 4Eva, Towa-chan, rebelyell59, Emerald.Crystal.Rain and AoiFurin.

Read and Enjoy!

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**UNREQUITED CHAPTER TWO: Dare**

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It was all a dream. 

It was finally the last day of the tour, the way back to their houses, and the chance to finally get away from _him_. After what had happened he had avoided _him_ as much as he could without being obvious, changing the subject when questioned about his supposed nightmare and keeping himself busy in an attempt to forget what he had almost done.

It had been a week without much contact with him.

However, something in his oh so clever plan had gone horribly wrong, as he found himself, somehow, sitting next to _him_ at the backseat of the van, while the other slept comfortably ignoring the hell he was going through.

As time passed by, _he_ had fallen asleep too, leaning more and more towards his right, just where he was sitting. He could smell the scent of his shampoo and his cologne and feel his long brown locks against himself every time _he_ moved slightly. _He_ was so close to him, he knew that if he looked up he would find his face right next to him and their lips would touch.

Maybe it wasn't hell after all.

He moved slightly, making _him_ lean a bit more. _His_ warm breath tickled his ear and made him blush in the darkness. How long had he waited for something like this could happen? If only he had the courage to look up...

How long it was before it happened he never knew. Finally giving up to resist and to pretend he didn't feel the way he did, he closed his eyes and sighed. Then, slowly, he turned his head towards his left, making sure not to wake him up.

Blindly, he searched for those lips he wanted so much, not daring to open his eyes in fear he would find himself observed. He shifted a little, raising his hand to _his_ face and touched it. His fingers traveling down, caressing his cheek, entwining with his hair, until they rested on his neck.

He kissed him. Shyly, slowly at first, barely touching his lips, waiting for him to react, to wake up and reject him or accept him. Nothing happened, so he dared forward, forgetting all his fears and risking it all for the sake of a moment that he knew could change everything for good or worse.

He could feel himself trembling, his hands almost shaking uncontrollably as he heard _him_ sigh contently. _His _lips opened slightly against his own, and pressed against him.

It was too much. Not caring about anything else he pushed himself against him just the moment the van stopped abruptly, and all the members of Bad Luck woke up, startled by the sudden force that pushed them forward.

He opened his eyes in surprise, finding himself halfway to the floor, just as _him_. For a second or two, none of them said a word, before _he_ straightened himself and asked K what had happened. Everyone started arguing, while Suguru let himself fall completely to the floor. No one noticed as he blinked furiously trying to suppress for the second time of the week the tears that threatened to escape from his eyes.

So close, he had been so close to get free from that insane prison that his own feelings and fears had formed. Even if it was rejection, but to finally know what he felt, what he...

"Are you hurt?"

Suguru shock his head as he smiled bitterly. Nothing _he_ could know about.

They arrived at their destination few minutes latter, picked up their things and walked towards the entrance of a building, where a car was waiting for Suguru.

He waved them goodbye and began walking. He hadn't given more than four steps when he turned around, the sudden urge to run towards _him_ taking control. He didn't gave one step in that direction though, for everyone was already leaving, their backs turned against him, their voices fading out as the darkness to the sunrise happening above them.

And then... _he_ turned around. It was only a moment, but he turned around and waved him one last time before leaving.

And so, the dream was gone.

But before that happened, he could have sworn _he_ had touched his lips when they had exited the van.

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A/N: Who knew those two were so popular?  
**To**: H.I., for all our good times. 


	3. Arguments

**A/N:** Someone is going to hate me for this. I just know it. I swear this was supposed to be the last chapter but... something happened while I was writting it and this is the result. Don't ask what's wrong with me, it's just the way my muses work.

The song Suguru is playing has nothing to do with the plot either. I wanted to change it and place a romantic song instead, but somehow this felt better. Again, that's just the way my muses work.

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, but if I did Suguru would have a girlfriend. Or boyfriend. Or Hiro...**

Thanks to all the readers and to: Guren, Yuki N Shuichi 4Eva, rebelyell59 and Emerald.Crystal.Rain.

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**UNREQUITED, chapter three: Arguments**

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The sound of the keyboard filled the studio with a sweet melody. He was alone, left behind as usual to practice while the rest of them headed home. He didn't mind, he never had, after all this was his only time to relax._Remember the days, when stars filled the heaven_

It was stupid, just plain stupid and he couldn't find another way to describe it. Love was stupid. And blind. If not, why had he fallen for _him_? Of all people, why him?

_When with hopeful eyes we watched the moon give birth to the sun_

He wasn't blind himself. He had seen the painful reality, the way _he_ saw her, his girlfriend, and the way _he_ saw his best friend. There was something there every time that wasn't there when _he_ looked at anyone else.

_And with outstretched fingers we traced the path of the newborn sunlight_

Still, he loved _him_. Even more stupid, he was happy for _him_, he was happy that _he_ seemed happy, even if wasn't with him. In conclusion, love was blind, stupid and apparently selfless.

The notes that came out of the keyboard had become progressively melancholic. With his eyes closed, he let his fingers express all that he couldn't with words.

"Hey, I thought you were going home".

_His_ voice startled him so much, he almost fell from his seat. The music stopped abruptly as he turned around to face _him_. Luck was a cruel mistress as she had chosen _him_ to find him.

"I uh... well... I..." How could he tell him he was sick of being home, staring at his bedroom's ceiling thinking about him?

"Practicing again uh? You should've told us, we could've kept you company... don't you get tired of staying here alone?"

Suguru sighed and shook his head. He was getting tired of this, tired of pretending... and then a smirk appeared on his face. He said that to himself at least twice a week lately, but of course never did anything about it.

"Mm? Are you ok Suguru?"

It wasn't _his_ voice what cracked him down. No, he was already used to the shivers that went down his spine every time _he_ talked to him. It wasn't either how near they were from each other, he had overcome that during the practices for the concerts, when _he_ usually played his guitar awfully near to the keyboard.

No, it was the fact that he had called by his name, something he had never done before.

"Fine. I'm fine. Why should it matter anyway?"

Had he looked up, he would have seen the surprised look on _his_ eyes at his bitter tone. The guitarist walked until he was in front of him and placed his hands on his shoulders.

"It matters to me."

Tears began forming in his eyes. Finally, he shook his head and freed himself from his grasp.

"Stop joking around. You don't care! You... you..."

"Yo buddy, what's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me?" He couldn't stop the words coming out of his mouth now. "What's wrong with me? You, that's what's wrong with me!"

They both stared at each other in surprise. Now he had done it, there wasn't any way to correct this now.

"Wha- what?" _His_ voice was painfully soft.

Well, he might as well take it out of his chest, it was all screwed now anyway.

"You... you are my problem! You and the way you look at him!"

"Him? What are you talking about?"

"You think I haven't noticed? The way you look at him? The way you smile and try to be with him all the time?"

Oh yeah, even worst that being in love with a guy that had a long distant girlfriend was being in love with the same guy that loved his best friend above anything else, including said girlfriend.

"I don't- what are-"

The way _he _stammered only made it worst. He wanted _him _to deny it, to tell him he was wrong, but he knew he wasn't. He had known it for a long time. The confirmation only made him madder.

"Of course I've seen it! I know you love him!"

Oh, he shouldn't have said that. It was taking it too far, and he realized that as he watched him change his expression from utterly surprised to angry. He had never seen him so mad before.

"What I do and who I love it's none of your business! What do you think gives you the right to talk about it!"

Suguru felt the tears that had began rolling down his eyes as _he_ yelled at him. His was his worst fear come true and for a moment wished he could wake up from this nightmare, or rewind the time and act like nothing happen.

Why did he love _him_ so much? Why did he care so much about what _he_ thought, what _he_ felt? Why had he kept pushing instead of keeping quiet?

"Because... because I- I-"

_He _was looking at him so seriously, frowning and waiting for an answer. Suguru could tell _he_ was trying to calm himself, trying to recover that patience _he _was so well known for.

_'Because I love you...'_

He opened his mouth, but the words didn't come out. He just shock his head in frustration, trying to stop those stupid tears that just kept coming.

"I don't. I don't care. Just... just... just leave me alone. I... need to practice."

He kept looking down until he heard the soft click of the studio door when _he_ left. It wasn't until that moment that he moved, returning slowly to his seat and placing his fingers over the keys he began playing again.

_Remember the days when all we knew was each other_

He kept remembering the way he had looked at him; there was so much anger in his chocolate eyes...

_All we care was to be alive_

All the things that he could've done different, all the words he could've said repeated themselves over and over again in his mind. All the 'ifs' that drove him crazy.

_And with innocent eyes we watched the clouds go by_

He wasn't sure how long he kept playing. He played the same song over and over again, until his fingers became numb and his back ached.

_Remember those days, because what it's not forgotten, is still alive._

Then he stood up, and without even bothering to turn anything off he grabbed his stuff and left the room. He hadn't noticed how late it was, he had been playing in the dark without noticing.

"Thought you weren't leaving."

_He_ was there on the corridor, leaning against the wall, offering a soda and what appeared to be one of those infamous packets of pocky.

"Here, you should at least eat something."

He stared at him for a moment before nodding and grabbing the stuff. He didn't open it though, he just kept looking at _him_.

"Why are you here?"

_He_ had started walking towards the elevator, but turned around to offer an apologetic smile.

"I thought I owed you an apology."

For an instant it was all perfect in the world again. The way _he_ smiled at him and gestured him to follow as he began walking again, the light of the sunset coming thought the windows and the way he waited for him to catch at the elevator... it was all...perfect.

It didn't last though.

"Shuichi."

"Uh?"

_He _shook his head as he pressed the button to the first floor and then leaned against the cold wall of the elevator.

"He... is important for me. But not the way you think Suguru. I would give anything for that moron, but that's because he is my best friend. He... he is nothing more than that."

There was something in _his_ voice, in _his _eyes that made him understand the irony of it all, some hidden sadness of a feeling he known too well.

However this time he chose not to say a word. He just stared at the steel doors and nodded silently.

"I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. I'm sorry."

"Ah no, it was my fault! I- I shouldn't have said those things! I'm the one that should apologize!"

It wasn't until that moment that he realized how close they were to each other, both alone in the elevator, so near his right arm brushed slightly against his own when _he_ turned to see him.

This was one of his fantasies come true, only in those the elevator stopped abruptly for some unexplainable reason an then they...

He knew he was blushing, both at his thoughts and at the way _he_ was looking at him, as if seeing him for the first time. He was about to talk when _he_ shook his head.

"You are... a very smart boy, Suguru."

No one else could have gotten away with calling him boy so easily. He was, after all, already seventeen and a half as he reminded anyone who dared to say he was too young for anything. But coming from him... all he was able to do was blush even harder.

"Why- why do you say that?"

Why was _he _looking at him like that? _He _barely blinked as he smiled at him again.

"Because you are."

He knew he was staring at him with his mouth slightly opened, but his mind was too busy struggling to keep himself from either melting right there or launching himself to the older man to care about it.

And then, just when he was about to do the later, the doors of the elevator opened.

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A/N: Hate me already? Next chapter will be the last, or at least I hope it will. 


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